Caroline Flack - Mental health

Oh, this is such a big topic. I know I could easily say the wrong thing, but I feel it's important to share my thoughts on mental health — in the hope it might help even one person who reads this.

The other day, I had Caroline Flack: Search for the Truth playing in the background on Disney+ while I got on with other things. But then something hit me: we need to raise awareness not just about mental health itself, but about how the public treats and talks about it.

What do you think when you hear "mental health"?

Do you think:

• "Oh, I struggle with that sometimes too..."

• "People with mental health issues are just different"

• "It's like a disease you catch, like the flu"

• "That's got nothing to do with me"

I know some people deal with real chemical imbalances in their brain or body that can make emotions feel totally out of control.  At the same time, I think most of us face mental health struggles at some point. Life is hard sometimes, and it's completely normal to feel knocked down by challenges now and then.

Here's what I mean: imagine you're bleeding because someone threw a rock at you. It would be crazy if they then said,

"Why are you bleeding? You're nuts!"

Right? If you're bleeding for no clear reason, then yes, you need a doctor. But if someone caused your pain and then dismissed it, that invalidation can make you feel even more lost and hopeless.

The truth is, in many cases there is a cause for emotional pain, but it often gets overlooked. Too often, the person who contributed to the hurt looks away and finds easier explanations — usually to avoid facing their own responsibility.

I shared my story about domestic violence some time ago. In my case, the abusers always turned it around and blamed me for my pain, even though they caused it. One time, after a particularly horrible experience left me naturally depressed, they even told my mother that she should admit me to a mental hospital.

People who are caring, responsible, or driven often face the most emotional burnout. The harder you try to do the right thing, the more obstacles seem to pile up — until you hit a wall where you feel completely stuck and think, "I just can't do this anymore..."

And honestly? That's a totally normal human response.

Please don't get me wrong — there's always two sides to every story, and I'm only sharing my perspective here. For all I know, I might be the one who misunderstood the other side.

Now, back to something I've noticed in the show. There's this idea out there — "Testimony from someone with mental health struggles won't hold up in court." But why? Just because someone is hurting, sad, or emotional doesn't automatically mean their words can't be trusted.

Does being in pain or feeling hopeless make everything you say unreliable? That's how it often feels to people in general. But is that really fair?

I've had my own struggles with depression from time to time. And while I've never had a formal diagnosis - because my mother thought it was just my personality, I've always felt like I might have OCD tendencies — I get really particular about things, and if they're not just right, the stress builds up. On top of that, I have a germ phobia that can be overwhelming. It was much worse when I was younger, but as I grew older, I stopped having time to attend to all my “needs” every time.

To some people, I might even seem a bit manic. I get fixated on making everything perfect — my brain races non-stop, day and night, especially before big moments like moving house, giving an important speech, or hosting friends and family for dinner.

"Does that make me 'different'? Or sound familiar? I hope it's the latter.

We all have our ups and downs — the intensity might differ for each of us, but that just makes us unique humans, not "crazy."

Of course, some people face much more serious mental health challenges. But I think it's unfair to dismiss someone's entire experience or credibility just because they're dealing with depression.

I'm not just talking about Caroline Flack — her story breaks my heart. From what I see, she faced so much public insensitivity toward people's real feelings and struggles. We all have hidden layers that others don't see.

Like everyone, I wear different faces: my work self, my home self, the Yuriko with friends and family, and the one who lights up around my beloved dogs. You might only catch one or two versions of me and think you know the whole story. But deep down, I'm a shy, anti-social germ-phobe nerd who often loves animals more than people.

I've taken antidepressants because life has felt overwhelmingly hard at times — sometimes from challenges I've chosen, sometimes from painful experiences I couldn't avoid.

Those hurts shook my trust in people, but they've also made me so much more grateful for the ones who truly care. In a way, I'm thankful even for the pain — it helped me see who's really important.

Perimenopause can make emotions run totally wild too. It's common for women going through perimenopause to feel depressed or overwhelmed.

Sometimes I can't get out of bed. Sometimes I want to disappear. Sometimes I feel completely worthless. Sometimes I feel like screaming. We all have those hidden sides no one else sees — and that doesn't make any of us crazy. I can still show up, function well, and be kind and considerate to others.

Humans are complicated. We're often selfish with that "grass is greener" mindset, and jealousy or greed can lead us to say or do hurtful things. If you're dealing with mental health challenges, you're not broken — you're just facing extra battles. Kind, selfless, hardworking people do seem to carry more of that weight.

I believe testimony from people dealing with depression should be evaluated carefully, case by case — and treated as credible when it makes sense. And please, try not to let strangers' hurtful, untrue words get to you. Instead, lean on the people who truly know you, care about you, and love you.

We often assume TV shows us the full story. Caroline Flack seemed so confident, beautiful, and outgoing on screen. But I didn't know her, and I won't assume what was really going on. The key takeaway? What we see or hear isn't the whole picture — it's easy to build a version of someone in our heads based on snippets.

I can't help wondering if, in her case and so many others, unchecked emotions play a big role in the pain.

After nearly 50 years, one big lesson I've learned is not to let emotions take over completely. When people see you getting too worked up, they often stop listening. I still feel love and emotions deeply, but I've learned not to get angry as much. I can't change the person who hurt me, so I choose to walk away — even if it costs me — because getting stuck there just wastes my precious time and energy. Whatever they've done will catch up with them; my job is to move forward to better things that truly matter.

In other words, focusing on the "now" instead of "what if" has filled my world with more joy. My beautiful beloved dogs Honey & Kaede taught me that. Easier said than done but that's what I'm working on every day :)

I hope my words reach you if you're reading this and struggling. You are not alone.

If you feel stuck and hurt please reach out to someone who can help.